I’ve never been proud of my lack of self-control or self-discipline (which are pretty much the same thing). Over and over again, I set goals for myself- big and small- and am continually disappointed when I fail to reach them. Well, I decided that I am giving up.
My household (The Nest Maternity Home) had been bringing up this idea of doing the Whole30 Cleanse (curious? visit whole30.com) for a few months but had never committed to a time we would start this bad boy. Until February 1st when we did.
Every time I heard about what this cleanse entails, my mind would immediately think, ‘Yeah right, I could never do that…I would just complain and cheat my way through it.’ Honestly, throughout the first days I was wondering when I’d have my first breakdown or cheat. Then, when I went to church the next Sunday I was reminded that the Lenten season was to begin that week with Ash Wednesday on the 10th.
My heart began to shift, and I realized what a great opportunity was in front of me. Because of my lack of self-control, I had always given a wave to sacrificing anything from my life throughout the Lenten season (although I am a good Lutheran at my roots). Sure, I had many years where I would desire so deeply within myself to actually sacrifice something for Jesus but would never even attempt because I knew I’d fail. Well, here was my chance.
I decided then and there that I was going to do this thing, and do it right. There was a definite decision made in the depths of my soul to give this cleanse to Jesus as my sacrifice to Him. He has sacrificed so much more for me than abstaining from bread or sugar or yummy cheesecake. The least I can do for him is give up on my self-indulging tendencies.
I’m not seeing this as a 30 day challenge, but a ‘from here on out’ challenge. Sure, I will add some grains (gotta have that pizza crust), dairy (oh my stars, I love cheese) and yes lots of sugar-loaded brownies into my diet, but I see this as my opportunity to give up. It takes a lot of energy to be disappointed in myself, and it takes Jesus a lot of forgiving every time I come to him in repentance. The fact that I have lived a life of being ashamed at my lack of self-control affects much more than just my personal thought life. It has shaped part of who I am today, how I relate to people and also what I could accomplish in the future.
So, here it is, I GIVE UP on laziness and lack of self-control. Sure, I will probably have setbacks and will fail a few times in the future, but there is always grace to cover our insufficiencies. For now, I will live day-by-day and refuse to give into those tasty temptations (maybe I will also abstain from Pinterest for awhile).
(taken from Kallie's blog - kalliekristine.wordpress.com)
8:40 had struck the clock this morning by the time I realized it would be a great morning for a walk. In my room, I could hear cars whizzing by which, as much as I dislike, sometimes limits my ability to concentrate on hearing God during my quiet times.
Calculating how much time I had before our Nest meeting, I knew I had roughly 30 minutes to get out of the house for a walk on this decent 30 degree winter morning. Scrambling to get my things together, I left the house with a goal of speed walking to one of my favorite spots on the St. Michael walking path where I would enjoy a good 3 minutes of silence, birds and peace before speed walking back to the office for our meeting.
This morning in our prayer time, the Lord brought to my mind something He had spoken to us as a team last week - a vision of Tiger Hill in Darjeeling, where Luke and Cristal had visited while in India a few years ago. They had recalled the time it took to get to the top of the hill in order to enjoy the sunrise from the highest vantage point in the area. Once on the hill, you also had to choose which angle and area you wanted to enjoy the sunrise from, for there were many options and all were beautiful.
Last week, God was speaking to us about perseverance and what we needed to push through to keep moving forward. This week, as I waited on the Lord to speak, he showed me the connection between Tiger Hill and my experience this morning on my walk.
Why is it that I am willing to speed walk 6+ blocks in order to enjoy a short 180 seconds before rushing the 6+ blocks back? Why is it that people all over India are willing to walk all the way up a large hill in the cold to witness a sunrise when the sun would have risen regardless of whether or not they were on top of the hill or watching out the windows of their homes?
If we truly want to experience God, we must put ourselves in a position to see Him move. We must persevere to get there and we must do the work, whether it's speed walking through town, climbing a hill, or laying aside what other people think and actually kneeling in worship. If we are just sitting in our rooms listening to the cars go by or watching the sunrise out of our windows because we are not willing to put forth the effort of exertion, we will never experience the fullness of God.
So, here at The Nest we are asking God how we can position ourselves to anticipate and be ready to see God move. What position can we put ourselves in, in order to experience His hand in our work and personal lives.
What position can you place yourself in to better see and experience the movement of God in your life?